While evolutionary psychology suggests that women pass on casual sex due to an inherent lack of sexual desire, Conley says there’s an entirely different reason. She posits that women say “thanks, but no thanks” for fear of being judged. She also says that women have serious reservations about whether a one-night stand would be enjoyable with a new partner. She tries to explain to men, “The reason women are turning you down for casual sex seems to be that, for one thing, a lot of you are calling them sluts afterward.” Also, “A lot of you aren’t bothering to try to be good in bed.” Preach.
I was reading about this a few days ago and wasn’t sure where to start. Like, women turn down casual sex with a total stranger and the immediate conclusion is that they just aren’t interested in sex, period??? Really??? I mean, there’s the idea of being judged for having sex with a total stranger, there’s the fact that it might not be very good, and there’s, I don’t know, the fact that this stranger could plan to leave you for dead in a ditch. Nah, it must be because women just don’t want to have sex. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket.
I read this article about how women orgasm less during casual hookups, and there was a quote from a guy who admitted he ‘tried less hard’ to make sure women enjoyed sex with him when he didn’t have feelings for them. Too much work, otherwise..
Which seems innocuous on the surface, I guess, but when you think about it… this guy (and presumably others) gets the same enjoyment out of sex either way, gets to expect to get off and get what he wants with every hookup, but he doesn’t think women inherently deserve satisfaction from those same encounters.
What do they think is in it for us? Like, what is essentially broken in straight dudes’ brains that they think their own pleasure is some great gift and ours is just a bonus that happens if they decide we’re worth the effort??
Putting down your razor can lift your G.P.A. at Arizona State University.
Professor Breanne Fahs offers female students extra-credit if they “stop shaving their legs and underarms for ten weeks during the semester while keeping a journal to document their experiences.” For Fahs, who teaches women and gender studies, the purpose is to get students thinking critically about societal norms and gender roles.
A similar opportunity is available to men in Fahs’ classes who recieve extra credit for shaving all of their hair from the neck down.
One student, Stephanie Robinson, described it as a “life-changing experience“:
Many of my friends didn’t want to work out next to me or hear about the assignment, and my mother was distraught at the idea that I would be getting married in a white dress with armpit hair. I also noticed the looks on faces of strangers and people around campus who seemed utterly disgusted by my body hair. It definitely made me realize that if you’re not strictly adhering to socially prescribed gender roles, your body becomes a site for contestation and public opinion.
Men seemed to have an easier time with it since some degree of “manscaping” has become accepted, or even expected.
The norm of women shaving body hair dates back to an effort by Gillette to expand their market for razors. Starting around 1915, Gillette started a campaign “denouncing the (previously inoffensive) female underarm hair as ‘unsightly’, ‘masculine’ and ‘unclean’.” In the 1920s, they expanded their efforts to leg hair, glamorizing “a smooth, silky leg.”
Still, “[b]efore the first world war, virtually no American woman shaved her legs. By 1964, 98% of women under the age of 44 did so.”
In 2010, Mo’Nique created a minor stir by appearing at the Golden Globes with unshaven legs. This year some celebrities, including Cameron Diaz, have been speaking out for more tolerance for women’s choices.
Fahs received an award from the American Psychological Association in recognition of her program and has been contacted by “faculty members at other universities are considering using the exercise in their classes.”
Not the only time a company preyed on the insecurities of women to sell a product.
Like can we just take a moment to enjoy that even Andrew Garfield wants Spiderman to be gay. Can we please just make Spiderman and Deadpool together in a movie???
Favorite Movies (2/5): Love Actually
"If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around."
"This is one of those things that makes me think you actors are very good. No, it’s just the way that you actually have to do it. You know, you’ve got 40 people around you in a room, guys with microphones and everything, and suddenly you’ve got to do it for real.
But she does it so…She’s completely brilliant. It’s not just that she cries…
I clearly didn’t direct her at all this day, she just did it all herself.”
Richard Curtis. DVD Audio commentary of Love Actually.